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Tabu unwinds
What are you most terrified of being remembered as?
A serious person! People have this image of me being very stern and no-nonsense and some of them are really shocked when they meet me. I've even had people tell me that they meet me. I've even hed people tell me that they were scared to approach me. Please, I'm not like that and would never ever want anyone to be scared of me. Believe me, I'm an extremely fun-loving and chilled out person.
What do you like the least about you?
Oh, so many things. But what I hate most is my indecisiveness on the personal front, whether it is a trivial decision or an important one. When it comes to my career and my work, I am so clear and decisive. If I have to decide about a film, I can say yes or no within a zillionth of a second. But show me two saris and I'll take two hours to decide which one I want to wear.
What first attracts you to a man?
Everyting! The fact that he is a man.
How would you woo a man you had set your sights on?
I don't have to do anyting to woo anyone. He is wooed from Day One.Okay, seriously, I think I would sing because I sing very well. But for all you know, he might not have a good ear to appreciate my talent.
Do you vibe better with men or women?
Men, any day. All my life, I've always got along better with men. I don't know why but I haven't managed to have deep relationships with women. My deepest bonds and closest relationships- which have strongly influenced me or transformed my life-have been with men. I've never come across that one woman I could look up to. You know, you are always looking for someone to emulate and learn from. That, in my case, has always been a man. I have never been inspird or influenced by any woman.
Are you a better actress on screen or off it?
Off screen, of course. When I am on screen, I'm completely myself. That's the real me. Somehow I'm not able to be myself in real life. That's true of most actors, I think.
We actors are constantly wearing a facade and a mask, we're constantly role-playing. it's true of everyone, but with us actors, it becomes that much more magnified because ultimately we are catering to somebody or the other all the time. We are catering to the producer for his film; to the director on the sets; to the sudience on screen, acting out what they want to see- audience ko khush karna hai, to yeh karo. We are catering to the media, the public, people whom we meet, everybody wants a part of us. Even in interviews, we are constantly sayingwhat people want to her, not what we want to say. It's a fact and I accept it. I find it difficult to be myself in real life.
What are the three essential ingredients of love?
Acceptance, understanding and friendship.
Is marriage necessary?
Not at all. Unless you want to get married to procreate or to complete your existence. But some people are or to completely comfortable without that, too. One should do whatever makes one happy, whether it is remaining single, getting married or having a child of wedlock. You shouldn't do anything that you're not comfortable with. In that sense, nothing is necessary, according to me.
When and why did you last cry?
Oh, I cry all the time, for silly little things. Some silly dramatic scene will be on in some movie, and I'll get emotional over it. The last I really cried was at the airport recently, when I was coming back from Kolkata. My friends came to drop me at the airport and I cried and cried along with them.
What's the wildest thing you've ever done?
Two years ago I had bhang during Holi and I drove down all the way from my home to the Taj Mahal hotel in town-a 45-minute drive in the middle of the night. For what? Just to use their washroom!
Which is the weirdest haircut you've had?
I'd love to have one, though I've never had a drastic haircut in my life. I had a different hairstyle for Hu Tu Tu but that was a wig. The only time I had a shoulder-lenght cut was in London a few years ago. That's the style I sported in Chachi 420. After that, it's grown back to its original lenght.
If you were granted three wishes, what would you ask for?
That I should keep getting money without working for it.
That all my family and friends (with their families) should live happily ever after under one big roof. That people should stop having any expectations from me.
Which has been the most memorable phone call of your life?
There have been lots of memorable phone calls. But I can remember two which made me very happy. One was when Madhuri (Dixit) called me up after watchin Chandni Bar and said she liked me a lot in the movie. I was really thrilled. Then Karan (Johar) called me to say, "Your film has got a 100 percent initial."That really made my day. I will always cherish the memories of these two phone calls.
Which compliment do you cherish the most?
Oh, there are so many of them. How can I name just one? Okay, someone once told me, "You're unbearably sexy." No, I won't tell you who said that!
What is your idea of a perfect day?
When I don't have any agenda for the day. When I don't even have to answer one phone call that I don't wish to . When I am not expected to do anything. When I do what I feel like, instead of it all being planned in advance for me.
What is the naughtiest thing you've ever done?
During one of my outdoors, when we were all staying in a hotel, I would sneak out in the wee hours of the morning and change all the door tags from 'Do Not Disturb' to 'Please Clean My Room' and vice versa. I got caught once but I pretended that I was looking for the newspaper. It was fun!
Which one song encapsulates your existence?
Ae zindagi gale laga le, humne bhi tere har gham ko gale se lagaya hai, hai na?
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